Earlier today I was thinking that I hadn't blogged in a few days and was trying to come up with something to say. Knowing good and well it never works for me that way. My blog posts come to me at random times and are generally the culmination of many events that prompt me to think about something. This put me in a dilemma today because I really wanted to write.
This evening it came to me.
As I look at some of the people in my life and decisions they make I wonder why we choose to love certain people. Why do we choose to love those that reject us? We do we choose to love those that emotionally or physically abuse us? We reject those that love us; we reject those that treat us well. Why is this? Why do we often choose a path that isn't going to bring us happiness, and ultimately bring us heartache and failure?
Emotions are fragile. Love is a house, love is protection, love is selflessness and devotion. Love means having mercy and faith. Love doesn't see physical characteristics, love sees the heart of someone. Mature love is a gift of God. Some people search their whole lives for this type of love. We search for it in someone who we are physically attracted too, we search for it in those that don't treat us the way we should be treated and often times we search for it in all the wrong places.
I know that for me, I want to fall in love with a man who is so deeply in love with Jesus, that that is all I see when I look at him and that is all others see when they look at him. I only want to get married if I can better serve God with someone else rather than by myself. This outlook I have arrived at is a far cry from where I've been. But I'm at a point in my life where I couldn't imagine marrying anyone for any other reason than this.
I too have been in a position where I cared about someone who didn't care for me, who didn't treat me right and didn't love Jesus. I have been that person that rejected someone who cared about me and would have treated me with the utmost care and would have been a good leader. I think at some point in our lives we all do this.
I had a conversation with a friend this morning and he said he had been thinking about something. What he told me ties in perfectly with this blog. I can't repeat verbatim what he said but the gist of it was that the way we love others when they reject us is exactly how Jesus loves us. How many times have we rejected Him, yet he still seeks us? How often we do abuse His name, yet he still loves us.
Jesus loves us enough that when we seek him first he gives us the desires of our heart. There is no confusion, no chasing, no questions and no doubt. When we let Jesus lead our paths he will bring us exactly where he wants us. If we run after Jesus and seek him and love him like he loves us I know the blessings he has for us will far surpass anything we could ever pray for.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Heart of Worship
Wow! What a busy week this has been. I have spent every evening of this week with my church group and it has been such a blessing. It has left little time for any Britni time, but such a blessing. Tonight I accepted an invitation to go do something I had never done before and again that turned out be such a blessing. It fills my heart to make good friends that I know I can count on and really seek advice from and listen to them as well.
Wednesday, this last week, was Worship and Prayer night at church. It was led by a group of high school students. My heart is very broken for our youth so this was so nice to see this group serving The Lord. About 3/4 of the way through they played an older song, Heart of Worship. This has always been one of my favorite songs, but this time it broke me down and I cried. Not tears of hurt, but tears of thankfulness that God brought me back to a Heart of Worship, when I had walked so far away from him. Through the struggles in my life I can truly see God's grace and his mercy.
My past is something I have struggled with and often feared that it would define me for the rest of my life. I had someone tonight tell me that my past is a part of who I am and will always be, but I'm not the judge of what I deserve, God is. This is something that I know, but to have a friend reach out and tell me that really meant a lot.
Just as God has shown his grace in my life he also is great and ever merciful and gives us the best when we choose to follow him. I often pray the prayer that God will break my heart for what breaks his, but this was a challenge we were given this morning in church as well. In many ways, my heart does break for certain things, but I don't think that there is ever a point where I will come to where I can say that "ok, Lord, my heart is broken enough and I've cared enough, I'm done." This race that God sets before us is never done.
Right now, I'm really praying for something personal. I don't know the answers, I don't know where I'm being directed, I don't know why God is breaking my heart for this particular thing, but he is. All I can do and say is that I will run that race and follow God wherever he leads. I'm so thankful that he has brought me back to this Heart of Worship. Though there are tough times and answers may not always seem clear, being in the presence of The Lord is always the right thing to do and is never failing.
Wednesday, this last week, was Worship and Prayer night at church. It was led by a group of high school students. My heart is very broken for our youth so this was so nice to see this group serving The Lord. About 3/4 of the way through they played an older song, Heart of Worship. This has always been one of my favorite songs, but this time it broke me down and I cried. Not tears of hurt, but tears of thankfulness that God brought me back to a Heart of Worship, when I had walked so far away from him. Through the struggles in my life I can truly see God's grace and his mercy.
My past is something I have struggled with and often feared that it would define me for the rest of my life. I had someone tonight tell me that my past is a part of who I am and will always be, but I'm not the judge of what I deserve, God is. This is something that I know, but to have a friend reach out and tell me that really meant a lot.
Just as God has shown his grace in my life he also is great and ever merciful and gives us the best when we choose to follow him. I often pray the prayer that God will break my heart for what breaks his, but this was a challenge we were given this morning in church as well. In many ways, my heart does break for certain things, but I don't think that there is ever a point where I will come to where I can say that "ok, Lord, my heart is broken enough and I've cared enough, I'm done." This race that God sets before us is never done.
Right now, I'm really praying for something personal. I don't know the answers, I don't know where I'm being directed, I don't know why God is breaking my heart for this particular thing, but he is. All I can do and say is that I will run that race and follow God wherever he leads. I'm so thankful that he has brought me back to this Heart of Worship. Though there are tough times and answers may not always seem clear, being in the presence of The Lord is always the right thing to do and is never failing.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Do You Serve Where You Live?
I have been in San Angelo for a little over three years now. The first year and a half was pretty miserable. I moved from the city and constantly questioned myself as to why I would do that. I really refused to make friends, to stay in San Angelo on the weekends and to be any sort of happy. I went home practically every weekend, made plans with my friends in DFW and generally thought life would be so much better if I was just back in the city.
San Angelo has a way of eating on you though and eventually I came to love San Angelo. I started getting involved, making friends here and learned to love life in San Angelo. I love that I can get anywhere in 10 minutes, I can go to restaurants where they know my order when I walk in, where I can run anywhere in town and not fear for my life and where I can be involved and make an impact in my community. Now, I wouldn't go as far as to say that I have adopted shopping habits in San Angelo. I still prefer the J. Crews and Banana Republics and organic fresh groceries, but there has to be some give, right?
My life here in San Angelo has developed into a great journey. As I drove back across town to work this afternoon, I reflected on my life over the last three years. I was leaving an agency that I have committed to serving through December, but more than that committed to serving the community. I recanted in my mind the different things I do and am involved in here, now, and it seems like that life that I had when I first moved to San Angelo is non-existent.
Most of my time now consists of church, work and volunteering. Volunteering for church activities and community activities. It seems as if I roll out of work into doing something every evening of the week. Sometimes I get pretty exhausted by it all and by the time Friday rolls around I'm ready to go home, change straight into my pajamas and stay on the couch the rest of the evening.
I wouldn't change a thing. I think it is so important to serve where you live. It is important to serve God, it is important to serve the community you live in. It is important to get involved, know what is going on and be a part of the community. It wasn't till I started serving in the community that I really began to love San Angelo and it wasn't till I started serving God in this community that I started loving MY life here.
Do you serve where you live?
San Angelo has a way of eating on you though and eventually I came to love San Angelo. I started getting involved, making friends here and learned to love life in San Angelo. I love that I can get anywhere in 10 minutes, I can go to restaurants where they know my order when I walk in, where I can run anywhere in town and not fear for my life and where I can be involved and make an impact in my community. Now, I wouldn't go as far as to say that I have adopted shopping habits in San Angelo. I still prefer the J. Crews and Banana Republics and organic fresh groceries, but there has to be some give, right?
My life here in San Angelo has developed into a great journey. As I drove back across town to work this afternoon, I reflected on my life over the last three years. I was leaving an agency that I have committed to serving through December, but more than that committed to serving the community. I recanted in my mind the different things I do and am involved in here, now, and it seems like that life that I had when I first moved to San Angelo is non-existent.
Most of my time now consists of church, work and volunteering. Volunteering for church activities and community activities. It seems as if I roll out of work into doing something every evening of the week. Sometimes I get pretty exhausted by it all and by the time Friday rolls around I'm ready to go home, change straight into my pajamas and stay on the couch the rest of the evening.
I wouldn't change a thing. I think it is so important to serve where you live. It is important to serve God, it is important to serve the community you live in. It is important to get involved, know what is going on and be a part of the community. It wasn't till I started serving in the community that I really began to love San Angelo and it wasn't till I started serving God in this community that I started loving MY life here.
Do you serve where you live?
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