Collection of Moments

When I travel for work I have a lot of free time in the evenings especially on the travel day. I have time to do whatever I want, eat whatever I want, watch whatever I want or read whatever I want. Most of these evenings I spend working, catching up on emails or putting together plans for when I get back to San Angelo. As I sit in my hotel room this evening answering emails as they come through and watching tv a thought crossed my mind - how life is nothing more than a collection of moments. 

Some moments are happy, some sad, some embarrassing, some make you mad, some make you feel love. No matter what your collection of moments is made up of one thing is for certain, we all have to face hard times and we all get to experience happy times. I can say that for the most part my life is made up of happy moments and if they weren't happy moments they were growing moments. 

I remember daddy teaching me to ride a bicycle, my first day of kindergarten, the first book I read without pictures, my first school dance, every church camp I went to in the summers, my first kiss, Sept 5 2001, the first time I really and I mean really got in trouble with my parents, my first track meet, my last track meet, my last dance recital, my first day of college, graduating college, moving to San Angelo, starting a career, getting married, getting divorced, getting back in Church and what prompted me to do so, the feeling of always needing my mom when I am sick, my first date with Jason, experiencing heartache, experiencing happiness and everything in between. 

These are all things that are/were about me and by that I mean the decisions didn't fall on anyone else to do the things that made up these collections of moments. But, there are the other collections of moments. The ones that involve other people, the ones that you allow to eat at you because you allow someone else to control your emotions or get to you. The moments that someone else comes in your life and you wonder what life was like before them. The moments that God intervenes and gives you parents, stops you from doing something dumb or simply just watches over you day after day. 

In these collections of moments where others are involved, these are the moments that tend to impact your life the most. I think it is inherent in some people's nature to be negative or unhappy and in turn want you to feel the same way. This is what got me to thinking this evening. I don't want to add to my collection of moments anymore moments where I let someone else determine my feelings, my success, my relationship with other people, etc. 

In this life we have no control over what others do, say or try to make us feel. What we do have control over is how we react. 

And life is a series of moments that we collect and what we collect determines how we act and react. And I pray that my collection is one of determination, kindness but not weakness, love and laughter and seeking God in all situations. When we are faced with a difficult situation and we seek Him and listen, the decision we make may be hard but it will be the right decision. And in those moments we add to our collection of strength, courage and discernment.