Running

For those of you that used to follow my old blog "My Life As A Runner" you know that my life used to be consumed with running. For those of you that didn't, I started running in January 2012. I ran to relieve anxiety and frustrations. For those of you that know me, this was like second nature for me, and come rain or shine I would be running. I got to buy a cute new pair of running shoes once every couple of months due to all the miles I was running. I was excited for 13 mile Saturday mornings. In October of 2012 I started training for a marathon, my lifelong dream. I got halfway through training and gave up. Last fall and winter was rough on me, and I just gave up. I went from running 30-50 miles a week to running maybe 3 a week. This trend continued much into 2013, but I'm starting to get back on course. I'm even considering starting to train for a marathon in October again.

This week I have dealt with a lot of frustration and anxiety. This evening I went to eat sushi and watch a movie with a friend. When we got out I headed straight home, and that feeling of anxiety inside me was urging me to run. So that's just what I did. I laced up my shoes, got my pepper spray and set out after 9. It was one of those days today where I felt like I could easily pick up and run 10 miles. I made it halfway through my run before I started thinking.

We recently went through a Gods of War study in church. Basically any thing that you put before God and run to for comfort and relief besides God. It hit me that that was exactly what I was doing. I spent the last half of my run talking to Him. Thanking him for this beautiful life he has given me. Looking up at the night sky and the beautiful stars reminded me just how blessed I am in the midst of all my frustration.

This week has been difficult for several reasons and really challenged my walk with God. I've been praying for a lot lately. A few of these things include people in my life that I used to consider to be friends. And for one reason or another over the last few months those people have grown away from me. It is amazing who God will bring in your life and take out of your life when you start walking with Him. I have met some amazing people over the last 3 months and I have lost some people out of my life. Just this week, some of those people I have lost have tried to come back in my life. I've been praying for them everyday. It's hard when you are at a crossroads and you don't want to be mean, but at same time really feel like you can't go back. But after all I've been praying for them for months.

I've also been praying for patience and that I will praise God even while I'm waiting (this is like my theme song). This week has really been a challenge in waiting and patience. It has challenged me when I say "God, I'm going to listen to you, you take the lead." I feel like God has used this week to ask me if I'm really sure that I will follow him no matter what. I end everyday in prayer to Him and knowing that he will ultimately fulfill the desires of my heart.

I'm also coming to a place in my life where I'm fixing to start having to make decisions about how I'm going to spend my time. I have become involved with a lot of organizations over the last year, and it is getting to a point where I'm going to have to start choosing priorities on this. I know that God will lead me to make the decisions He wants, and for me to serve Him in whatever I do. I have received one answer on being involved with an organization. I have been praying for House of Faith since early May, when I wasn't sure why I was being led there. Just last week, they reached out to me to help with some activities they have coming up!

So tonight I turned to running, just like I used too, but God used that time to stop me in my tracks and bring the focus back to Him and really put some things in perspective for me.